-- Cowboys quarterback Drew Bledsoe on his coach Bill Parcells' turning 65 a couple of weeks ago: "I'm happy for him. Now he can go to the movies cheaper and get senior citizen rates at restaurants" ... The Steelers have had two coaches in the past 37 years. The Lions have had four coaches in the past 37 months ... Pittsburgh linebacker Clark Haggans received an ovation from fans when he exited a port-a-potty at training camp ... Arrogant Dolphins coach Nick Saban couldn't tear himself away from camp to accept a dinner invitation from President Bush? Bunker mentality!
-- This year college football promises a season full of suspense. Or is it suspensions? ... Oklahoma suspended its quarterback, Rhett Bomar, because he was paid for more work on a summer job than he actually did--he worked four hours and was paid for 40. Isn't that the purpose of college, to prepare you for the real world? ... Maurice Clarett wore a bulletproof vest and had four guns in his car. Apparently Dick Cheney called to go hunting ... Don't get too low on good ol' boy FSU coach Bobby Bowden--in the locker room, that Christian thing goes out the window.
-- According to avian expert Mark Young, a group of owls is called a parliament.
-- Zany promotion: The Newark Bears recently hosted Britney Spears Baby Safety Night ... The Rays have certainly developed a fine crop of batting practice pitchers (5.28 ERA for road games) ... Omaha Royals outfielder Kerry Robinson went on the DL with muscle spasms triggered by his laughing at the antics of a youth team during a pregame promotion ... Nobody seems to know what the Rockies are doing to their baseballs but some fans swear their Coors has a hint of horsehide.
-- Heat's Shaq O'Neal is now a reserve police officer in Miami. He will be able to carry a gun--as long as he doesn't shoot it from the free-throw line.
-- LPGA media guide gives us six Kims, three Lees, two Kangs, a Jang, a Yang, a Han and a Lim.
-- A 7-year-old Arizona boy last month became the youngest to complete the 1.4 mile Alcatraz swim. When I was 7, I was perplexed trying to get a Slinky to work on stairs.
-- In closing, Lorraine Bickel gives us this tip for maintaining a healthy level of insanity: At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down!
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)