Dashing through the sports in a one-horse open sleigh --
-- Christmas gift suggestions: "Cruzin Cooler", a motorized cooler you can ride on up to 13 mph top speed, 36 Buds to the gallon, a steal at $499. Or how about "The Joe Sofa", Italian-designed baseball glove in honor of Joe D. It's 100 percent leather, seats three and goes for $5,995 a pop. Let's not forget the English toy company that released a line of soccer-fan action figures called (what else?) Little Hooliganz.
-- Detroit Lions football: Now in its 72nd year of putting people to sleep "before" the Thanksgiving Day meal.
-- Within 16 minutes after Ohio State's 42-39 victory over Michigan, the Ohio state lottery numbers came up 4, 2, 3, 9--paying $2.19 million ... When Meineke Car Care Bowl representatives scout northern colleges, do they wear mufflers? ... FIU coach Don Strock officially resigned, but rumor has it he was forced out ... Coaches don't want their players to have firearms on campus, to which some players asked, "Campus?"
-- Running back Kendris Smith from Hughes High School in Arkansas scored a state record 10 TDs last month, but it wasn't enough as his team lost 73-72 to East Poinsett County High School.
-- According to Lahrue Sachon, preserved in a bottle at the Edison Museum in Dearborn, Michigan is Thomas Edison's last breath.
-- Milwaukee Bucks center Ervin Johnson, when he spotted Shaq's mom sitting courtside opening night: "Tell your son to stop pushing!"
-- The Red Sox won the right (costing $51 mil) to negotiate with coveted Japanese pitcher Diasuke Matsuzuka. Yankee owner George Steinbrenner has stymied the talks by bidding to buy Japan. Years ago, George and partners bought the Yankees for just $10 mil ... Former Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden has tentatively scheduled his next arrest for mid-February ... Ann Ladd, the woman accused of stalking 74-year-old ex-MLB catcher Bob Uecker, has now been pronounced crazy. Not because she's a stalker. Because she's stalking Bob Uecker.
-- Tiger Woods is helping to finance a Bahamian luxury resort. The hotel will accept cash, credit cards or giant cardboard checks.
-- Driver Jeff Gordon had to go ahead and marry his Belgian girlfriend. He was afraid she was going to waffle!
-- In closing, Jason Kotsko advises you know you're watching too much football if after the game you dump five gallons of Gatorade on your wife.
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)