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Around Here

By Leo Coughlin

Nobody asked me, but -

. . . What gives? You mean the folks in Moses' tribe did not know it was wrong to murder, steal, etc. before he came down from the mountain with those tablets?

. . . Why is Oprah Winfrey so "stunned" and nervous about her father writing a book? I am not quite sure who she is, but saw headlines to this effect.

. . . TV surfing turned up this gem - There is a piece of junk called Dateline where NBC, in concert with local gendarmes, entraps perverts who want to mess with kids (there was one on the Largo police force recently). What is amazing is that these jerks willingly obey and talk to Chris Hansen, a creep who works for NBC. Remember girls and boys - the only words to say to police are "I want a lawyer."

. . . With all the emphasis on seat belts, is anyone bothered by the fact that 50 million children ride school buses 180 days of the year and don't have seat belts?

. . . Another piece of craziness - there is virtually no standard of qualifications to operate boats for pleasure. Incredible!

. . . How about this? - "Push 1 for English. Push 2 for deportation." Good idea?

. . . And a big thank you to Robert Thomsen of Des Plaines, Illinois, a visitor to our shores who follows events in Largo from afar.

. . . There's a baseball writer who covers an American League team whose name is Schmuck. Yeah, really, no kidding. My specialized dictionary by Leo Rosten tells me the word has a very particular meaning. We've got more than a couple of them around here, but we never call anyone names.

. . . When Dick Cheney is finished in Washington, he ought to join the Largo government. He would fit right in with that Alice in Wonderland world.

. . . Gen. George Casey, a really sad sack of a human being, is the chief of staff of the Army. He has never commanded a unit at ANY level in combat. That is why he is despised by his peers.

. . . Think of this - Motormouth Mathews, a complete jerk, knows exactly what Ann Skank is, promotes her wildly for an appearance on his program and then when the Skank does exactly what one might predict, the Motormouth expresses shock. He is the biggest phony on the airwaves.

. . . What's Wrong With Baseball Dep't. - "But Shea Hillenbrand's .254 average and 22 RBIs relegated him to a bit role. He is set to be paid $6.5 million this season." (Emphasis added.)

. . . As one observer has pointed out, "It's really scary to think that the people of Largo (like the mayor and one of its commissioners) would have accepted as city manager a man prancing around in women's clothing and acting like a female." It really is scary, when you think about it, and what other bizarre ideas Mayor Pat Gerard and Commissioner Rodney Woods may have up their sleeves.

. . . The idea in some areas that public school teachers should be paid on the basis of how well their students do is the worst idea imaginable. For one thing, it is unjust. Reliable figures show, in all cases, that the lowest student scores come in predominantly black schools. So teachers, who are assigned, would be unjustly treated if they wind up in a predominantly black school. Is the view here racist? No. It is plain fact.

. . . If you saw that long, long, long slow speed chase of a suspect in California on July 6 you were witness to quintessential police incompetence. At one point, four patrol cars had the driver (a woman, yet!) cornered, but she blithely drove away while the cops just let it happen. The pursued woman quit after an hour and a half and surrendered meekly. Of course, it took seven manly officers to escort her into custody.

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