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That's Sports

by T.R. FAHY

-- Did you know millions of dollars in college athletic scholarships go unused each year? Money is available for archery, badminton, bowling and handball at some schools.

-- Just heard driver Jeff Gordon's new baby has been clocked crawling at 153 miles per hour.

-- How did heavy smoker, overweight Angel Cabrera ever beat fitness freak Tiger Woods for the U.S. Open title? It was equivalent to watching a movie starring Brad Pitt and Danny DeVito and DeVito gets the girl ... Golfer Zach Johnson: "Thanks to global warming, next year I'm playing in boxers only" ... Harrison Vanderan had two holes-in-one about 20 minutes apart during a recent father-son tourney in Newburg Heights, Ohio. Harrison is 8.

-- The Iditarod sled dog race in Alaska has ended. Dogs are pushed in extreme conditions and often die. Race supporters point out the competition is safer to dogs than if, for example, they smoked four packs of cigarettes a day.

-- According to Bruce Booher, fake teeth can be illegal in some states.

-- Elton John has called England's World Cup team a "disgrace". This from a guy who sings "Crocodile Rock" in a bright pink jumpsuit and furry sunglasses ... A company in China is selling "2006 Germany World Cup air" in small plastic bags for $6.25. Somewhere P.T. Barnum is smiling ... Revolution soccer goalie Taylor Twallman was asked what body part hurts right now. "My ears are still ringing from Sanjaya," he quipped.

-- A year ago, Tour de France winner Floyd Landis' failed drug test (testosterone levels) came back somewhere between Barry Bonds and Rottweiler. He's now a 3-1 favorite to win next year's Kentucky Derby.

-- Lester Clancy, 52, from Mansfield, Ohio, has invented a cordless jump rope. Now you can exercise while sitting on your couch inhaling ice cream.

-- 55 pro wrestlers under the age of 45 have died since 1985.

-- Sports Illustrated reports fishermen were drug-tested at the World Angling Championships in Portugal a couple of months ago.

-- In an impressive display of sportsmanship, ex-hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi cost himself the title when he stopped to help a competitior open one of those amazing ketchup packets.

-- How about the poor fellow in upstate New York who spent over 1,000 hours completing the world's largest jigsaw puzzle. He believes the 18,000th and last piece was eaten by his beagle.

-- In closing, Tommy Duff asks, "What's the worst part of hunting elephants?" Answer: "Carrying the decoys"!

(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)

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