-- Twenty-five of the wealthiest men in America are currently out of work. But enough about the New York Yankees. You have to wonder what's "bugging" the team--global swarming? ... Indians slugger Travis "Pronk" (1/2 project, 1/2 donkey) Hafner: "I might not be smart but I can lift heavy things" ... David Letterman on watching the World Series: "I sit down and drink a few cold ones in my boxers and scream at the TV. That's until they throw me out of Applebee's" ... On a Halloween note, the ghost players who for 18 years have walked out of the cornfields and entertained tourists at the "Field of Dreams" movie site in Dyersville, Iowa, performed for the last time September 30. So long, Archibald "Moonlight" Graham ... The 1909 Honus Wagner baseball card recently sold for $2.8 million. Some are questioning the card's authenticity after it was magnified and it appears Wagner was listening to an iPod.
-- Christina Rohloff tells us the Australian pelican has the world's longest bill (19 inches).
-- American cyclist Floyd Landis has officially lost his Tour de France title over cheating. Must have been the miniature jet engines installed on his bike by chief mechanic Al Belichick (as in Beli-cheat) ... The Bucs are now in negotiations to add the exhumed body of George Gipp to their backfield so quarterback Jeff Garcia won't seem nearly so old. O.J. was just too busy writing books ... Bears quarterback Rex Grossman knew something was up when Office Depot offered a five-year clipboard endorsement deal ... Broadcaster John Madden is a mix of Dizzy Dean and Andy Rooney ... Jacksonville offensive tackle Khalif Barnes recently fell asleep at the wheel, drove his car through a yard, crashed into a tree and, of course, left the scene. Apparently Barnes' Mercedes isn't one of the cars that parks itself ... A company in Seattle is now selling Seahawks-themed soda in flavors that include Dirt and Perspiration.
-- Nine of coach Urban Myers' Gators have been arrested in the past 10 months. Doesn't lax discipline send the message to all those impressionable freshmen and sophomores--screw up, they'll still play.
-- Pro soccer will never become a major American sport when 99.8 percent of the quality players play overseas!
-- And finally, Chuck Huey asks if you heard about the bridesmaid knocking over the wedding cake. She was in tiers.
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)
