-- Dale Earnhardt, Jr. won his first NASCAR race in two years limping to the finish line on fumes. Gas prices must be high when even Junior can't afford to stop.
-- Tiger Woods, survivor of sports "Battle of Wounded Knee" (108th U.S. Open), may have finally found the man to end his reign--Father Time! ... Phil Mickelson missed so many fairways, a Weedeater would have been helpful.
-- The NHL, looking for publicity, held their draft recently and several repairmen appeared at the league offices offering to caulk windows and doors ... The Capitals' MVP Alex Ovechkin, a Russian, was given a key to the city of Washington. Hours later, the Pentagon reported many of its missiles missing.
-- In Wimbledon action, Roger Federer is trying to extend his 58-match winning streak on grass courts. He's the most successful performer on grass since Cheech and Chong.
-- Over 4,000 babies in China the last few months have been named Aoyun, the Chinese word for Olympic Games.
-- According to "Wild Bill" Proctor, a newborn kangaroo--only one inch long--could hide behind a postage stamp.
-- Now MLB is worried that the use of TV replay will disturb the "rhythm of the game". And the 26 minutes per game used by batters to re-Velcro their batting gloves doesn't? ... White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen describes the rats at Wrigley Field as "bigger than pigs, probably because they're lifting weights." Perhaps they got into the steroids Sammy Sosa left behind. Ozzie and Cubs manager Lou Piniella filmed a series of TV commercials a while back and Ozzie claims it took them three weeks to find a body double for Piniella. "For mine," he says, "they just went to a modeling agency."
-- The Packers are pursuing Dolphin defensive end Jason Taylor. Last year Green Bay ranked 26th in the NFL in sacks and dead last in the mambo ... Buffalo native Tim Russert would often end his Meet the Press broadcasts with "Go Bills" ... Former NFL Comish Paul Tagliabue: "All sports will eventually be global. Someday we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling."
-- Detroit (NHL) and Boston won championships followed by "celebrations" of fires, turning over cars, looting stores and many arrests. Priceless!
-- In closing, Kim Anton tells us about the man who complained to his doctor, "Every time I put on my hat, I hear music." The doctor, after examining the hat, said, "No problem, John, I'll just take out the band."
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)
