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That's Sports

by T.R. FAHY

-- All big leaguers wore red caps in honor of Memorial Day. We assumed that since the Nationals have been playing like old ladies, they had joined the Red Hat Society ... If Manny Ramirez' medicine works, next March we could be wishing him a Happy Mother's Day (maybe triplets). Some feel he has more chemicals in him than the Hudson River ... A sure sign your star player is taking female fertility drugs--he hires Martha Stewart to redecorate his locker ... Do you realize that Kentucky Derby winner, Mine That Bird, was bought for $9,500--less than four tickets to a Yankee game ... Disgraced former Yankee Jim Leyritz, awaiting trial on charges of DUI vehicular manslaughter, was going to be an honoree at the minor league Newark Bears "Legends" promotion until the organization caved to protests. Perhaps O.J. isn't busy and could fill in ... Did you know Lake Erie Crusher pitcher Josh Faiola lives at the Belvedere of Westlake assisted living facility? Wonder if he has to go to bed early?

-- According to Judy McNeil, the world's largest domestic cat is "Leo", 48 inches from nose to tip of tail, owned by Frieda Ireland of Chicago.

-- Ever get the feeling that Somali pirates plan better than the Lions and Raiders on NFL draft day? ... Buffalo's mayor recently presented Terrell Owens with a key to the city. Bet by October the mayor will have the lock changed ... Now there's a possibility of London hosting a Super Bowl. In return, U.S. fans will get a fox run ... Why do so many criminals find Jesus in jail?

-- One time powerhouses FSU and Miami each had one player drafted by the NFL. So did Weber State and Liberty.

-- Following Cavs' LeBron James' 38-footer at the halftime buzzer: we wonder how good the guy could be if he used women's fertility drugs.

-- At Florida, hoops coach Billy Donovan has job security for life. At Kentucky, he would have had job security until the next booster club meeting.

-- And finally, Brian Tulinski knows why a woman will never walk on the moon. "She wouldn't know what to wear."

(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)

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