-- The Florida Highway Patrol has determined Tiger Woods was at fault for crashing his car. "The legal process has vindicated my clients," said an attorney representing the fire hydrant and the tree. Was it quick-thinking on his wife Elin's part to use a golf club to smash a couple windows of his car or should she have tried the door handle first? Two British women are rowing naked across the Atlantic in a record 70 days. When he heard about their adventure, Tiger offered to be their navigator. One way T.W. can improve his image: try safely landing his golf cart in the Hudson River.
-- See where the N.J. Nets started the season 0-18. Usually when a team starts the season like that, it's because it's touring with the Harlem Globetrotters ... Clippers announcer Ralph Lawler was suspended one game by Fox for remarks he made about Memphis Grizzlies catcher Hamed Haddadi. Lawler has broadcast over 2,400 of the lowly Clippers' games. Hasn't he suffered enough?
-- According to Violet Malacha, there are no turkeys in Turkey.
-- Former NFL coach Brian Billick: "I coached for 30 years and got a Super Bowl ring and most people, when they see me now, go, "Hey, you're the Coors Light guy" ... Meanwhile, aging Viking quarterback Brett Favre was allegedly cited last week for going 20 mph in a 45 mph zone, with his left blinker on ... My neighbor Bob had jury duty a while back--a great opportunity for an up-close look at a famous athlete ... A month ago, the 0-8 Rams visited the 1-7 Lions. Sounds like it was a skim milk game--only available on TV for 2% of the country.
-- Who predicted this one--the best college football team in Ohio this year is now unquestionably the undefeated Cincinnati Bearcats ... Our favorite quote by FSU coach Bobby Bowden: "Linebacker Reggie Herring (1980) doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
-- You gotta doubt a special Danica Patrick signature fragrance coming in February will be a hit: In case you want your lady to smell like gasoline and burning rubber.
-- In closing, last night Margaret Malacha dreamed she ate a 5-lb. marshmallow. When she woke up, her pillow was gone.
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)