-- Soap opera As the World Turns has been cancelled after 54 years. A spokesperson announced they simply can't compete with the storyline Tiger Woods is weaving. We figured the most startling Woods family golf news this year would be Tiger failing to win a major. Turns out it was Elin making a cut. Polls say 63 percent of Americans view the golfer unfavorably, the other 37 percent are still dating him ... Many feel hockey legend Wayne Gretzky should light the Olympic torch in Vancouver in February, though some think Tiger, whose reputation has been going up in flames, should be the choice. Actor Cuba Gooding may play Mr. Woods in a movie. Suggested title: "Show me the honeys."
-- Quarterback Jay Cutler's chances behind the Bears' feeble offensive line--think Custer with shoulder pads ... The Eagles voted Michael Vick the winner of their Ed Block Courage Award. Shouldn't it have been the Ed Blockhead Award?
-- Sure, Gator coach Urban Meyer changed his mind after resigning--as Brett Favre says, "What an attention-seeking, self-centered waffler, why couldn't he just make a quick decision and live with it?" ... According to an Orlando Sentinel report, two-thirds of the 96 Florida football players who played in games this season have accumulated 251 traffic citations in Alachua County since 2006. Meyer's code appears to be "just win, baby, and we'll love you on and off the field" ... Gators' run reminds us of the Miami Hurricanes' national championships in '87, '89 and '91, losing only four games in four years.
-- According to Betty Brown, actress Liz Sheridan (Jerry Seinfeld's TV mother) was briefly engaged to James Dean.
-- Did you know, with traffic so bad in L.A., Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant commutes to practice and games by helicopter? ,,,Celtics coach Doc Rivers after being asked how long Kevin Garnett would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: "You know Doc's a nickname, correct?"
-- A statue of Oriole third-baseman Hall of Famer Brooks Robinson is about to go up outside Camden Yards ... Remember Game 4 of the World Series--Yankee catcher Jorge Posada visited his veteran pitcher C.C. Sabathia on the mound eight times in one inning. Want to speed up the game? Treat catchers like managers and coaches. Second trip to the mound--pitcher must be replaced!
-- In closing, our neighbor Sir Charles tells us about the drunk who staggered out of a pub, knocking down a nun walking by. "I guess you don't feel so tough now, eh batman," he mumbled.
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)